


the sound of his voice

by KeeperofSeeds



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blanket Permission, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The First Avenger, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Male Friendship, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeeperofSeeds/pseuds/KeeperofSeeds
Summary: Bucky in the aftermath of being rescued from Zola's lab. It takes a while for things to feel Real.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	the sound of his voice

**Author's Note:**

> Cleaning up my documents and came across this ficlet I had started based on an old tumblr post I had saved about how Bucky had to have been tripping balls and half delirious after Steve rescues him in CA:TFA. And how far back were they before Bucky started to really come to terms with the fact that he was saved.

It should be comforting. The quiet sounds of the forest.

It should be a relief after the grind and clank of machinery in the cells. Or the sound of his own screams echoing in the private room. It should be comforting. But it’s not.

It sets Bucky on edge.

The crackle of their two small fires. The vague rustle of animals moving in the woods, just out of sight. The soft groans of their injured men. The snores from those not on watch.

These sounds should be familiar. It should be a relief to be here with his company. To finally be out of that hell hole. Rescued by his best friend of all people. His best friend who shouldn’t even be here, let alone looking like some kind of Superman.

But it’s like he can’t shut down. Can’t pull his body back from high alert. He _sees_ the woods surrounding them, the shadows of the tanks, the soft glow of moonlight through the trees, but it’s not registering.

If he closes his eyes it might all disappear.

Just another desperate dream.

If he closes his eyes for more than a minute he’ll open them to see Zola’s smug face grinning down at him. The light reflecting off his glasses, the sharp sting of yet another needle sliding under his skin oh god please not again.

He can’t take much more. Whatever he’s injected with _burns._ Racing through his veins he can feel it turning his insides into burning rivers of icy fire oh god what’s his rank. He just needs to remember his rank, can’t let anything slip out. 32557-

The hand on his arm startles him and he lashes out instinctively. His fist only meets air as whoever it is dodges the swing. Their body bends back smooth and as he stumbles sideways half up on his knees he catches the sound the soldier makes. It's Steve. He'd know him anywhere. Or would have, before today. His mind spins, fear eating at him. What if this is one more dream? What if he's finally lost it? What if-

"Buck? Hey, it's alright. It's okay."

It takes a moment to process that he's still half on his knees, breathing hard, and Steve is standing above him, half in the shadow of the fire, hands raised as he reassures Bucky he isn't an enemy soldier.

Bucky forces himself to look up, to _see_ _Steve_ there. To recognize the familiar lines of his friend's face.

"Are you with me Buck?" he asks.

Bucky sinks back onto the ground and says, "sit down, punk," instead of answering. Steve, folds his new bulk down until he's sitting, lets crossed next to Bucky. Bucky rubs a shaking hand over his face.

"Fuck." He says. "What a day, huh?"

The smile he gives feels forced. Steve obviously isn’t buying his act. "It's okay Buck," he says again, and Bucky is thrown back to a dozen different times. Times when he'd said the same to Steve. 

So he lets himself break, just a little. Lets himself lean closer, until he can drop his head on Steve’s shoulder. It’s not as boney now, but the arm that comes up around his shoulder is warm and solid. And the comfort he feels is the same as Before. Him & Steve together. Them against the world. With Steve he doesn’t have to worry about feeling ashamed. They’ve seen each other at their best and worst. Fought and stood together against whatever life could throw at them. Even here, Steve was still fighting it seems. He'd fought through enemy lines and saved Bucky's ass that was for sure.

Bucky leans into Steve's warmth and lets his shaking breathes grow longer, lets them match Steve's. The hitching wheeze he remembers from winters back home is completely gone.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t what Bucky, but my I’ll listen if you every want to.” Steve says softly, and Bucky knows it’s true. Steve is a good listener. Has plenty of practice at it. And Bucky had always told Steve everything. Rambling on about this dame or that (trying to make Steve blush), complaining about the rising prices, or the latest gossip from Mrs. Sylvester down at the shop. Steve was his rock, his best friend. Steve anchored him. The size of him unfamiliar but his voice was the same. It keeps him grounded. Helped him block out the creeping anxieties. The imagined glint of knifes and IVs in the shadows.

They sit together until Steve goes to stand watch. He lets Bucky lean against him and listen. Lets him slow his breathing and feel his way back to himself, until he's present in the here and now. Until the noises around them feel real and the ache in his back grounds him. Until it feels like Before, when it's just him and Steve, up against the world.


End file.
